


A Short Fight Over Something Mostly Pointless

by bluemandycat



Category: Archvillain Series - Barry Lyga
Genre: a good old fashioned robbery and fight, just read the title, kyle's pretty gay in this one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-24
Updated: 2016-07-24
Packaged: 2018-07-26 09:04:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,577
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7568254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluemandycat/pseuds/bluemandycat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kyle wants an adrenaline rush, so he and the Villains Club go head-to-head with the Heroes Club.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Short Fight Over Something Mostly Pointless

**Author's Note:**

> So I'm going on a bit of a hiatus, so here's a fic to tide you all over.

            “This is pointless,” the Giggler had complained, regarding Kyle’s latest heist plot. “We don’t even need these parts.”

 

            “ _You_ don’t need these parts. I do,” Kyle had said. “They’re for my time machine, and I don’t particularly feel like paying for them. Besides, are you really going to turn down a good old-fashioned robbery and fight?” The Giggler had laughed at his explanation, and his laughter had persuaded the slightly reluctant Villains Club to agree to the suddenly proposed mission. Kyle was relieved, honestly. He had expected more of a fight. If the Giggler was one thing, it was inadvertently persuasive.

 

            Now, they hovered above the Bouring Custom Blacksmithing Shop, sizing up the members of the Heroes Club that were sent to stop them. The custom parts (that had been commissioned for an independent construction project, but did they _really_ need them?) were nestled safely in Kyle’s backpack, but it seemed unlikely that the heroes would let them leave without a fight.

 

            “So, guys, are we having fun, or what?” asked Kyle, glancing back at his friends. Jack’s eyes crinkled behind the mask.

 

            “Dude, you’re crazy. You’re never going to be able to get us out of this corner.” Although his words were harsh, the tone of his voice made it clear that he loved every minute of the peril.

 

            “We’ll see about that.” With those words, he snapped into “leader mode.” He turned to the Giggler. “Giggler, how long can you keep us airborne without tiring yourself out?”

 

            The Giggler tilted his head to the side, as if that was somehow a good way to gauge his wind powers. “You guys aren’t that heavy. A while. Half an hour. Probably.”

 

            Jack snorted. “Half an hour isn’t a long time.”

 

            “You try picking the club up for half an hour and see if you get tired,” the Giggler fired back. Kyle decided it was time to nip the argument in the bud.

 

            “Walter, get off of your phone and try to identify who they sent to stop us.” Walter Lundergaard cleared his throat and put his phone in his pocket. He squinted at the blurry heroic shape across the line of mid-level buildings.

 

            “Well, there are definitely four of them. One is being carried, the other three are flying. One of the flying ones has wings, which is a dead giveaway. Otherwise, judging based on the costume colors? If I were to hazard a guess, it’d be Angel, Maelstrom, Crowblade, and, of course, Mighty Mike.” Upon hearing the names, Kyle burst out laughing. He couldn’t help it.

 

            “That’s it? That’s who they sent to capture us? This’ll be easy. Giggler, you go for Maelstrom, Mad Mask, you take the Their Royal Edginess Crowblade, Lundergaard, you’ve got Angel, and I’ll do Mighty Mike. Easy.” He grinned and spread his hands to illustrate how easy it would be. His teammates looked a little bit more concerned than he was.

 

            “I don’t know about Maelstrom,” said the Giggler. “She can pack a mean jet of water.” Kyle rolled his eyes.

 

            “Please. I know you can’t resist going toe-to-toe with her. Cause she’s your nemesis, or whatever.” Walter raised his hand.

 

            “I have no doubts that Giggler can take Maelstrom, or the Mad Mask can take Crowblade,” he said, “But I have no powers, and Angel has wings growing out of his back. How, precisely, do I manage that?”

 

            Kyle winked and unzipped his backpack. He fished around for a couple of minutes, before pulling out an item wrapped in cloth and tossing it to him. “There. The Pants Laser 6.0. Go wild.”

 

            Walter’s brow creased. “Isn’t there a chance that this will blow up on me?”

 

            Kyle scoffed. “The Pants Laser hasn’t blown up since edition 3.5.” When Walter shot him a look, he added, “Get as much mileage out of it as you can. If it _does_ blow up on you—which it won’t—call for help and I’ll get over to where you are.”

 

            The Giggler raised his hand. “Um, about that, I can hold you up or fight Maelstrom. Not both.”

 

            Kyle did a mental facepalm. “Fine. Set us down on separate buildings, and we’ll lure our respective members over to us, so you can fight airborne. Lundergaard, aim for the wings and make Angel mad in any way you can. Mad Mask, do whatever you do that makes Crowblade hate you.”

 

            Jack nodded and his eyes smiled. “Don’t take the job seriously at all,” he said. “Got it.”

 

            “And Mike will definitely come over to me. I like to think he knows me well enough to extend that courtesy,” Kyle added.

 

            “Right. Because he’s your nemesis, or whatever,” the Giggler echoed back to him.

 

            “And, in the case of an emergency, you’ll get over to me…how?” asked Walter, sounding pretty confused.

 

            “Dude, he’s right. I can’t grab you. Not without being beaten up,” said the Giggler.

 

            God, it was like they had no faith in him whatsoever. “Don’t worry. I’ll get over there somehow.”

 

            Jack narrowed his eyes. “Fine. I’ll be able to defend myself, in case you were wondering. Maybe provide backup, if you need it? Goth Bird isn’t all that threatening.”

 

            Kyle gave him a thumbs up. “I have no doubt in your abilities. And I will hold you to that promise of backup.” Then, addressing the group, he said, “We ready, team?”

 

            High fives and wishes of good luck were exchanged. Jack cuffed him on the shoulder and said, “Don’t let Mike kill you too much, okay?”

 

            Kyle snorted. “Mike’s not going to kill me. He likes me too much for that.”

 

            “You guys are super gay,” the Giggler teased.

 

            “Yeah, yeah. Are we going to fight these guys or not?” said Kyle.

 

            “Alright, guys. See you in the winners circle,” said the Giggler, and with that he shot them off to their respective rooftops.

 

            Kyle landed hard, and got to his feet. He turned on the PA system in his mask, and spoke.

 

            “SO MIGHTY MIKE THINKS HE CAN JUST WALTZ IN AND SAVE THE DAY, ONCE MORE, HUH? HE’S REALLY GOTTEN THAT COCKY?”

 

            From a distance, he saw Mike stiffen, and so he continued. “IT SEEMS HE’S FORGOTTEN ABOUT SOMEONE, IN HIS QUEST TO LOOK THE PART OF A HERO. COULD IT BE…THE GIGGLER? NO, NO, THE GIGGLER’S NEMESIS IS MAELSTROM, AND YOU BROUGHT HER.”

 

            Mike was heading towards him now, depositing Crowblade onto Jack’s roof, where Jack was cheerfully making conversation about the weather and how good it would be to kick Crowblade’s butt on a nice day like this. Kyle upped the ante.

 

            “COULD IT BE…THE MAD MASK? NO, CROWBLADE’S HERE TOO. HMMM…. I KNOW! IT’S THE BLUE FREAK!”

 

            Mike was less than 500 feet away. Kyle went in for the kill.

 

            “GOSH, WHAT’S A SUPERVILLAIN TO DO WHEN HE’S BEEN FORGOTTEN LIKE THIS? I MUST SAY, I’M KIND OF HURT. I THOUGHT I MEANT MORE TO YOU THAN THAT.”

 

            _Wham!_ Mike landed fist down on the rooftop. He straightened up, holding his head high and generally looking very heroic. “What’s this I hear about you feeling neglected?” he said, in a low voice. Kyle grinned and turned his PA system off. He was always a little bit surprised with how deep Mike’s voice had dropped when they had hit puberty.

 

            Kyle spread his hands. “Well, you got me. It’s all a big cry for attention. But what else am I supposed to do when my hero goes around battling with other villains?”

 

            Mike moved closer to him, a hint of black laser in his eye and a hint of a smile on his face. “You know those other villains mean nothing to me. You’re still my archvillain.”

 

            That was his cue. “You _say_ that, but why not prove it to me?”

 

            Mike bowed. “I would be honored to express my feelings.” With that, he threw a punch. Kyle blocked it.

 

            “You’ll have to try a little harder than that to impress me,” he said, dodging a speedy kick.

 

            Mike smirked. “Fair enough.” He jabbed Kyle a few times in the stomach. Kyle ducked and rolled out of the way. When Mike came near, Kyle punched him hard in the jaw. Since Kyle didn’t have superstrength anymore, it only annoyed Mike, but it was enough to keep him distracted enough for Kyle to fish his Static Energy Collector and Discharger (or StECoD, for short) out of his backpack.

 

            With the StECoD, the fight got a lot more even. Electricity seemed to be one of the only things that fazed Mike, which was good to know. Plus, the device sucked static electricity out of the dry air in order to get the energy to zap Mike, so it was environmentally friendly!

 

            Mike and Kyle danced around the rooftop, with only a zap or a punch breaking the rhythm. Slowly but surely, though, Kyle felt he was gaining an advantage. Was this it? Could he finally put Mike in his place?

 

            Of course, as soon as Kyle got confident, everything else went to crap. From about four rooftops over, Lundergaard yelled, “Blue Freak, a little assistance?” Kyle turned to look at the problem, and was immediately socked in the jaw by Mike. He tumbled across the roof, landing on his back. The StECoD skittered across the roof.

 

            “In a second!” he yelled back. Mike advanced towards him.

 

            “Not so tough without your precious ray gun, huh?” Mike said with a smirk. “What are you going to do now?”

 

            Kyle sighed. “Look, any other time I’d play along with the flirty banter, but my friend is having a little bit of trouble over there,” he jerked a thumb in Lundergaard’s general direction, “and honestly? I’d be a bad friend if I didn’t go check up on him.” He purposefully didn’t look at Mike’s reaction to the word ‘flirty.’

 

            He got to his feet, and touched his fingers to his nose. They came back bloody. “Wait. Time out. You gave me a bloody nose?”

 

            “Blue Freak, this is a _fight_. Injuring your opponent is kind of the point,” Mike said.

 

            “I know, it’s just…” he trailed off, touching his nose again. “Wow.” A shout from behind him reminded him of his obligations. He turned to watch Angel break the Pants Laser 6.0 in half. Ouch. That hurt to see. From four rooftops over, Lundergaard made a face at him, like _I told you it would fail_. He made an _At least it didn’t blow up_ face right back.

 

            Speaking of which, he wasn’t entirely sure how he was going to get over to him. Up above, Maelstrom and the Giggler raged, a miniature hurricane swirling around them. Jack and Crowblade lobbed insults and grenades at each other, two rooftops over. Despite his promise of aid, Jack seemed to be too focused on the masked hero to rush to Lundergaard’s defense. He wasn’t going to get any external help, that was for sure. Kyle felt a little bit stuck.

 

            “Face it, Blue Freak, you’re stuck. We might as well go back to ‘flirty banter,’ as you call it,” said Mike. Suddenly, the absolute stupidest idea shot through Kyle’s head, but it was the only idea he had.

 

            “Sorry, Mike. Really gotta go. Bros before superheroes, you know?” Kyle said in a relaxed tone of voice. With that, he jumped off of the roof.

 

            Unfortunately for Kyle, he had lost his flight powers years before. He was well aware of this fact before he jumped, but the awareness didn’t make the fall any easier. To his credit, he did manage to scrabble at the brick of the next building over before going into a freefall. _Eh_ , he thought, _It was worth a shot_.

 

            Before he could fall very far, Mike snatched him up in his arms. “Are you insane?” he spat, hovering. Kyle wrapped an arm around Mike’s shoulders.

 

            “Aww, Mike, you really do care about your nemesis,” he said.

 

            Even in a state of emotional distress, Mike fired back with, “What did I tell you? You’re my archvillain.”

 

            From four rooftops over, Lundergaard bent Angel’s wing back and yelled, “BLUE FREAK, COULD YOU STOP BEING SO GAY AND COME HELP ME OUT ALREADY?”

 

            Mike and Kyle exchanged eye contact. “I can’t let you do that,” said Mike, seriously.

 

            “I can’t let you do _that_ ,” said Kyle.

 

            “What?” said Mike, momentarily confused.

 

            “I’m going to go help my friend, Mike, and you can’t stop me.”

 

            “I’m holding you in my arms. Please tell me how you are going to get out without me dropping you,” Mike said. Kyle had to admit, he raised a fair point. With the StECoD back on the roof, he didn’t pose much of a threat to Mike anymore. Besides, even if there was a way to defend himself, he still ran the risk of Mike dropping him, which was never a good thing.

 

 _Damn it!_ Kyle thought. _If only my friends were less useless!_ With that disloyal thought, though, came a plan. And although it was the second stupid idea he had had that day, he was inclined to go through with it, if only because the first had gotten him into this mess.

 

            “Fair enough. There’s really no way for me to wriggle out of your arms, considering that we’re too low for there to be any roof for me to fall onto,” Kyle said, keeping his voice low.

 

            “Why are you whispering? Also, that’s surprisingly non-impulsive of you. I was worried you would try the jumping thing again. You worry me sometimes, Blue freak,” Mike said, matching his tone.

 

            “Unfortunately for you, worrying you is pretty much my job,” Kyle whispered back. He turned in the direction of Angel and Lundergaard and turned on the PA system in his mask. “HEY ANGEL!” he yelled. “YOU’LL NEVER GUESS WHAT MIGHTY MIKE JUST WHISPERED ABOUT YOU!”

 

            Angel turned in his direction, evidently surprised that the Blue Freak was even talking to him. Lundergaard took the opportunity to punch him.

 

            Mike shook him. “Blue Freak, what are you doing?”

 

            Kyle ignored him. “HE SAID THAT YOU WERE THE WEAKEST HEROES CLUB MEMBER! I MEAN, COME ON, YOU’RE LOSING A FIGHT AGAINST A GUY WITH NO POWERS. THAT RAISES A FEW EYEBROWS, HMM? MAKES ME KINDA WONDER HOW YOU GOT INTO THE HEROES CLUB IN THE FIRST PLACE!” Kyle shrugged, and continued. “I GUESS HAVING WINGS COMING OUT OF YOUR BACK DOESN’T NECESSARILY MAKE YOU A GOOD FIGHTER. WHATEVER. I DON’T CARE. BUT MIKE, THE STRONGEST MEMBER,” he punctuated the word ‘strongest’ with a wink at Mike, as an apology for possibly ruining his friendship with Angel, “WELL, LET’S JUST SAY THAT MIKE DEFINITELY CARES ABOUT YOU BRINGING THE QUALITY OF HIS LITTLE CLUB DOWN. HIS WORDS. NOT MINE.”

 

            Angel gasped a little bit, and yelled, “Mike! Is that true?”

 

            Mike rose up higher so he could look Angel in the eye while apologizing, but only got as far as, “Of _course_ that’s not tr—,” before he was kicked in the face in Kyle’s effort to get out of his grasp. Kyle rolled across the roof, and took off running as fast as he could, before Mike had a chance to react.

 

            Thankfully, the next roof over had a ladder built into the side, which Kyle was (thankfully for his health) able to jump and grab onto. Mike, having recovered from the shock of being tricked/kicked in the face, bulleted closer to Kyle. Kyle ran to the edge of the roof.

 

            On the next roof over, the Mad Mask and Crowblade were in the middle of an intense fight. Well, intense on the part of Crowblade, anyways. The Mad Mask appeared to be fighting using just his forcefield and a series of dodges, which only served to anger the hero more.

 

            Kyle observed the Mad Mask catch and toss back a grenade lobbed at him, and then cupped his hands around his mouth. “Hey, Mad Mask! A little help?”

 

            The Mad Mask rolled out of a pouncing Crowblade’s way and made his way to the edge of the roof. “Jump!” he yelled, holding out his arms.

 

            Kyle was well aware of how well jumping had worked for him two rooftops over. Kyle jumped anyways.

 

            Theoretically, the Mad Mask did catch him, in that he landed on the roof. In practice, though, his weight caused the Mad Mask to tumble onto his back. Crowblade, apparently feeling more superior than usual, took the opportunity to plant a black boot squarely on the Mad Mask’s chest, in front of Kyle’s shoulder. The Mad Mask turned to look at Crowblade.

 

            “Could you give the Mad Mask a little bit of time to recover, pal? Chill out,” he said, in the voice he reserved for supervillainy. Crowblade flinched at the friendly language.

 

            “You two are under arrest!” they said in a squeaky voice, holding their head up high.

 

            The Mad Mask made eye contact with Kyle. “Give me a minute,” he said. He reached his hand up around Kyle’s head, and hit Crowblade right behind their knee. The superhero’s mouth opened in an “O” shape, and it was remarkably easy for Kyle to get out from under their foot. The Mad Mask followed him.

 

            “So, can you distract Mighty Mike while I get over to Angel?” asked Kyle, jamming an elbow into Crowblade’s ribs.

 

            The Mad Mask shrugged. “More or less,” he said. “Although, I’ll never replace you in the ‘keeping Mighty Mike occupied’ department. You more or less earned that title at Lundergaard Labs when you were twelve.”

 

            Kyle rolled his eyes. “Don’t bring that up. That was a bad day for both of us and you know it.” He decided to change the subject. “Can you get me over to the next rooftop?”

 

            “Depends,” the Mad Mask said. “How do you feel about air travel?”

 

            Two minutes, and several well-timed kicks to Crowblade’s stomach later, Kyle found himself in the Mad Mask’s arms, in what was apparently going to be his third stupid plan of the day. _Eh_ , he thought, _I’ve got a 50/50 success rate on jumping anyways. Might as well do a tiebreaker._ “What are you waiting for?” he asked the Mad Mask out loud.

 

            “Wait for it,” said the Mad Mask. On the rooftop across from them, Angel punched Lundergaard, evidently empowered by Kyle’s earlier insults. Lundergaard stumbled backward. Angel turned his back towards Kyle, his body in a wide stance and his wings beating periodically. “Now!” shouted the Mad Mask, and without any other warning he threw Kyle.

 

            Kyle instinctively reached out, and managed to hook an arm around Angel’s neck. Taken by surprise, Angel’s wings started to beat fast, and he flailed around in an attempt to get Kyle off of him. Luckily, when Kyle fell off, it was on the rooftop, and Lundergaard was there to help him up.

 

            Kyle got up, breathing heavily. “So, we’re out an electric gun, a laser gun, and we’re up against an almost deity-like creature.”

 

            Lundergaard nodded. “Pretty much.”

 

            Kyle nodded. “Okay. We can do this.” Lundergaard nodded too, and they sprung into action.

 

            Unfortunately, they only got as far as a couple of punches before they were interrupted again. A loud yell punctuated the air, followed by some curses from three different voices. Kyle, Lundergaard, and Angel all dropped what they were doing and looked over the edge of the rooftop.

 

            Mighty Mike was hovering in the gap between two buildings. This was expected. What was _not_ expected was that the Mad Mask and Crowblade were each clinging to one of his legs, and attempting to fight each other at the same time. As they watched, Mike gave a loud yell and a “cut it out” to the others, and basically fell/flew onto the rooftop.

 

            After a couple of minutes of everyone recovering from that sudden entrance, Mike got up, and turned to face Kyle.

 

            “Blue Freak…what is your _problem_?” Mike asked.

 

            Kyle grinned in a not-so-apologetic way. “Sorry.” Mike glared at him wordlessly.

 

            Kyle took in the situation. He, Lundergaard, and the Mad Mask were back-to-back, surrounded by Heroes Club Members. Kyle smiled at his partners. “Well, it’s a good way to go out, huh?”

 

            The Mad Mask nodded and didn’t say anything. Lundergaard looked incredibly nervous that _this_ , of all things, was how he’d die. Kyle raised his fists and waited for the inevitable.

 

            “INCOMING!” yelled the Giggler, swooping in and picking them up. Kyle laughed. This was a much better inevitable. “Go, go, go!” Kyle yelled, leaning on the Giggler’s shoulder. The Giggler jetted out of there until they were a safe distance away.

 

            Kyle stared back at the dumbfounded Heroes Club. “How did you know to get us?” Jack asked from behind him.

 

            “Eh, just looked like you guys needed a little aerial support,” the Giggler replied. Kyle looked at Mighty Mike’s blurry form shake his head. Kyle raised his hand to his lips and outward, in a pantomime of blowing a kiss.

 

            Lundergaard tapped him on the shoulder. “Hey, uh, did you really think that we were going to die?”

 

            Kyle laughed. “Nah. Timestream wouldn’t allow it.”

 

            “Is that so?” said Lundergaard, over the sound of the Giggler giving a blow-by-blow account of his fight with Maelstrom.

 

            “Timestream doesn’t allow lots of things,” said Kyle, as he gazed back at the rapidly disappearing form of Mighty Mike.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments/Kudos/Spinoff Fanfic appreciated!


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